marriage What is ?

Lead: the secret of happiness - studying that marriage and family the wisdom of


In front of two fruit to share the happiness of the secret of the topic , talking about "return to traditional family "and" make life diffuse a little . " This issue, we continue to extend this topic to share in the family life in happiness of another secret is to learn that marriage and family the wisdom of . American marriage expert David Olsen once said: "Marriage is a to learn complex system . " He will be "Marriage is what " tells us: marriage What is ; why the in marriage only love is not enough ? Marriage is a problem how to do? " love again "tells a husband and father the story of , he had to he thought the right way love his wife and children , thinking they have a good future can give the family more happiness and security of , wanted to talk but hurt Family. The brave and wise men, willing to re-learn his in the family role , and finally became a real to the family bring satisfaction and happiness a good husband and father.


" want people to love one another, may all human have to pay the ultimate price for tasks , the most difficult one. other efforts are just for the love to prepare it . "

- Rainier • Maria • Lick (Rainier Maria Rilke)

Marriage, can be all human relationships the most nourishing the people, and most lasting kind of relationship. Ironically, the marriage may be human relationships , the most disappointing setbacks, and the most conflicting kind of relationship.

Marriage can bring great joy , it can be deep pain a source of , but it is strength and vulnerability a unique combination of . In marriage among the individual can find happiness the source of , and the world rest of the . But the marriage may also be on the couple a negative impact , making their marriage thinking about quitting.

Emotional Feelings of is only marriage complexity a part of . Marriage is not an isolated system , there are many factors that affect the marriage , but also by the marriage affected , including social , work, family, religion , friendship , and each person's background , habits and personality traits .

marriage The decline of


In recent decades, there are several to marriage related trends emerging . In American society , the married size the total population percentage of , from in 1970 to 68% decline to 56 % ( U.S. Census Bureau , 1998) .

The second trend is that never married and after the divorce choose not to marry the total population is increasing. Those who have never married the total population from 1970 of 16 % to in 1996 23% . Divorced the total population from in 1970 3% growth of to in 1996 10% .

The third trend is that cohabiting couples of the total population increase. In 1970, only five hundred thousand pairs of men and women living together ; But in 1996, living together the number of as much as 3.7 million pairs ; to 1998, even more than four million pairs .

While most people life, at least will choose married once , but it is obvious choose to remarry who fewer , replaced remain single , or choose to live together without getting married. All in all , marriage in the past three decades, has shown a decline in the phenomenon, and there is no evidence in the foreseeable future, this situation will be any reversal.

marriage The value of


Although the marriage the total population gradually reduce , but marriage is for society, families and individuals still has many advantages. married people Most healthier , live longer , have more wealth and economic assets , and more than singles , and cohabitants have a more satisfying sexual relationship. In addition , those two-parent families grow up in children , usually in the mood and academic performance better . Let us in more detail look at these benefits :
Married, have a more healthy lifestyle .
Married Live longer .
Married, have a more satisfying sexual relationship.
Married, has a more substantial economic assets.
two-parent families Children in are usually better performance .

Why love is not enough ?


"Love is you need all , "" Love makes the world go around , "" Love is never need to say sorry "... ... in our society , there are so many about love quotes , that in this society it seems Stressed love, and give it too much power . Although love is indeed a very powerful emotion , but finds love is a person needs all , it is not practical idea. How do we know that only love is not enough to make marriage a happy it ? from Most of the Americans getting married when they claim to love one another , but the divorce rate remains at 50% to be proved.

In addition , in many couples, one partner than the other happy. This may be the spouse among of marital satisfaction low correlation displayed. The so-called "low relevance " is, if you know the spouse 's marital satisfaction , then so to predict the other party marital satisfaction the accuracy of , only 25 %.

Study also pointed out that many unhappy couples still remain marriage . Fower and Olson (1993 ) in the view different marital relationship types of , it was found that of marriage type the more traditional ( a firm view of religion , the traditional division of labor , for their children education and religion with a high degree of consistency ) of the couples are not happy Ratio than other types of couples to be high, but divorce likelihood of have to much lower .

Problems how to do?


Love is important, but only love and not enough to sustain a healthy, energetic and happy marriage. Maintain relations skills, especially communication and conflict management skills , as the couple to marriage 's commitment in general, is indispensable.

Since each person's personality is different, partners the marriage put into the contents of have each are different, so each couple's relationship is unique. Bread as an example: bread the material ─ ─ flour, yeast , salt , water ─ ─ Each is unique and with the bread very different . Bread and marriage , they are the whole is greater than of all part of the sum . That is why we even know some of the related elements , but also can not be predicted the marital relationship the reasons for .

As husband and wife the relationship between The complexity of , we can not most of situation of do the general inference . Therefore , you are the their marital relationship experts in . If your current partner relationship , there are many unresolved issues , to seek professional help is very important. you The sooner get help , these issues the more likely from between in a stumbling block into a stepping stone .